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I was in my Mindfulness with Melanie group last night and I was teaching different methods of meditation.  The conversation led to how meditation can help with anxiety. One individual shared, “is it weird that I worry about my worrying?”  My initial reaction was “no, absolutely not! Because a lot of us do.” This is a very common thing that a lot of my clients do, and guess what I catch myself doing as well.

If you are caught in the middle of an anxiety storm you most likely are the worrier that thinks of every possibility A-Z, you are the “what if” thinker, or you are the worst case scenario thinker (or a combination of the three).  So here is the deal about emotions in general, not just anxiety:

1. It is completely normal to have emotions (i.e. anxiety, sadness, depression, frustration, anger).  Emotions are a normal part of life.
2. When you are an anxious person sometimes yes, you start worrying about your worrying.  That happens and THAT IS OKAY. Sometimes people become frustrated with being angry. Sometimes people feel sad about the fact that they are depressed.  It happens.

These two points are vital for you to hear.  Often times in my office I hear individuals describing situations in which they avoid, distract, or numb their emotions.  If you are avoiding, distracting, or numbing your emotions, they will not go away. In fact, your emotions will not only stick around, but they will become more intense and overwhelming. 

If you resist, it persists. I read this in The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff.  This was such a monumental phrase for me to learn both personally and professionally. 

The more you resist your emotion the more the emotion will persist.  The more you avoid your emotion, the more difficult it becomes to manage.  The more you distract yourself from emotion, the more intense it will feel.   The more you numb your emotion, the more overwhelming it will become.

Not enough people are normalizing emotions in our society.  It has become a shame game and I don’t like that. Please know that it is okay to have whatever feeling you are experiencing.  And the best way to start healing from your emotional pain is to face those emotions head on. And if you are in need of support through that, do NOT be afraid to reach out to a counselor who can help.